I was 12 years old the first time my life fell apart. After starting high school and finally settling into a friend group that felt like it had an unbreakable bond, I thought I was invincible. But this sense of invincibility led to vulnerability: I decided to tell my best friend that I had fallen in love with them. Everything fell apart and I was ostracised by my peers. From being one of the “popular kids” and the class clown, I was now left abandoned like an old toy. The year was over and what followed was one of the worst summers of my life, trying to navigate my newfound loneliness. Skip ahead a couple of years and I had found my place among a group of others who had been ostracised by their peers. We were the bullied, the “freaks”, the “undesirables”. Every day felt like going into a warzone with my classmates, but I always had my loser friends. Until I didn’t. Once again, my world was shattered when I was left abandoned by a group of people I trusted. I spiraled, probably not as badly as somebody else would have, but I started ditching school and not caring anymore. I ran away from home for weeks, sometimes months. Life wasn’t great. But I got through it somehow. After that I had a fresh start. New school, new friends, everything was perfect again. I couldn’t believe it. Even after I graduated and went to University, things were fantastic. And then they weren’t. Once again I let myself be defined by somebody else and I paid the price for it. Now, in my late 20s, after a very long period of not feeling like I was stuck in this constant rollercoaster, it happened again. I started to head towards the precipice. But I didn’t do what I always did. This time I chose myself, and I can confidently say that things are better than they ever have been. There are still challenges but putting myself first has helped me to overcome them. If any of this sounds like you, or resonates with you, I just want to say I’m sorry that you’ve had to feel this way as well. But it doesn’t always have to be like this - you can choose yourself, too 💚 #connecttonature #realtravel #epictravel #bucketlisttravel #adventuretravel